1. quote of the week: "...the world is such a painful place to be, but i still see beauty" - hopeless case by varndore

   song of the week: Don't Worry be Happy by Bobby Mcferrin
   

   
   NEW BLOG!!!!
   http://awaketoblueskies.blogspot.com/

   
   our words are important.
   their are days where i just want to sit. sit and relax in a window seat at starbucks. i want to sip down a smooth burning hot cup of coffee and sit back and write. write into they close the store and then walk out and sit on the nearest bench and write some more. i feel that maybe i should be going somewhere with my words, actually creating something plausible. something for everyone to enjoy. numerous times i've thought of writing books. i don't know if i have enough patient. their are nights when staying awake is all i can do, and whether if I cannot write a single word down sheer out of writers block, or whether my hand cannot work fast enough with my brain i extend the possibility of creating something out of nothing. im am given the chance to write my words out, and have them seen. have them read by a few is honoring to me. but knowing that i have so much more i could say, so much more i could think of is hard. words to me are forever lasting. words are what made up history and even when we die, what we have written will continue on. are words are important, mine, yours, everyones. i think if you took a day and just sat and wrote you would be amazed what your brain could think of. your words are your own, so carry them with eloquence.

   
   things about me
   - im a sap for soppy love stories.
   - i like not being very tall.
   - i love getting compliments.
   - i want like 5 tattoos.
   - i have trouble looking people in the eye, so i look at the floor.
   - i want to be a published author.
   - i write poems about love.
   - i cannot swim nor can i ride a bike.
   - i mumble a lot.
   - i don't like being the 3rd wheel.
   - i love talking to adults more than kids my age.
   - i want to make documentaries.
   - i can be really shy or really outgoing.
   - music is everything to me.
   - i wear only jeans and im fine with that.
   - i use to want to be a secret agent just so that everytime i walk into a room, the james bond music would play.
   - i have a fear of dying - i don't want to grow up - certain smells remind me of memories from my childhood.
   - i over analyze things to much. - i want to live either in philadelphia, haddon heights, or haddonfield when i grow up.
   - i like nature and being outside.
   - i want to be a photographer.
   - apparently i get annoyed very easily.
   - i laugh at everything.
   - i still attempt at collecting CDs
   - i actually do like baseball!
   - i have a horrible fear of heights.
   - i wish i could master the guitar is 5 minutes.
   - i wish i was right handed.
   - i wish i was more clever with my words.
   - im not very funny to most people.
   - i hate how i can't strike up good conversations.
   - awkward silences make up my life.
   - im on the computer way to much!
   - i procrastinate too much as well
   - i want to learn how to play the drums.
   - i watch old tv shows like I love lucy, the golden girls, leave it to beaver, and more!
   - i believe that america should take more interest in the mexican holiday "day of the dead"
   - i want to be trilingual.
   - i will travel!
   - i want to be able to know that two people could stay in love forever.
   - i need to improve on my grammar skills.
   - i want to stay in touch with friends.
   - i really would rather not have the world end in 2012, for I would have just about to graduate high school, and on my way to complete freedom.
   

   
   Owls are my friends?
   tonight i formally request of an agreement to sleep.
   a treaty of peace between me and the owls as i attempt to close my eyes
   against the starry autumn nights, that i've found home to for so long.
   tonight i connect mystical images that create opaque images in my sleepy head
   as i slowly wisp myself to sleep, and avoid the nightly poker game between me and the owls.
   

   complete
   tonight i will listen to soft acoustic sounds and stay up late attempting to figure out the most perfect words to describe this autumn weather. and despite my wordless mouth i begin typing nonsense only hoping that out of this nonsense comes beauty. and when their is nothing left to write about i'll continue to think of things to write about, and with tired fingers and sleepy eyes my brain will keep thinking of words so utterly incomplete that somehow in some distance time, they will become complete.

   
   hot chocolate is just for children!
   tonight i decided to sit at home and drink hot chocolate. avoid the outside world into dark skies become blue, and until my hot chocolate has warmed my frozen fingertips. but until then, my adolescent action will stay for now, and i will avoid all outside contact.
   

   my name is shaquanna, and people tend to call me shaquanna
   i want nothing more than plate of pancakes and a class of OJ every morning. something to wash down the taste of bitterness from last night. but my shoelaces won't tie themselves and im left doing it manually, making me late for school. and with every bound of every step a second ticks on the clock t'were im only left to be filling out a late slip. and with tired eyes, i spell my name wrong left for me to get confused with another student. and after much discussion over last nights episode of Grey's Anatomy, i sit in every class wishing i could have a plate of pancakes every day, that my red converse's shoelaces tied themselves, and that i could run up numerous steps at a time. unfortunately this may not come anytime soon, but i am only left to dream.

   October, 13, 2008

   I've redesigned my blog page, and hopefully i'll be able to keep this layout for quite some time. I hope you guys enjoy it, i'm hoping to add a few more features to the blog.

   Please, don't be afraid of the dark.
   do not be scared of the dark! do not be scared of the dark. i wrote this today. i think its metaphoric about life, and reaching into things unknown. please enjoy. _____________________________________________
   today i awoke to a grey sky. it’s clouds covered my only light. so i decided to just sit in the dark. dark is your friend. there is something about sitting in the dark that scares you, excites you. i’ve realized it must be the feeling of the unknown. the thought of not knowing what is inches in front of you. it scares me, you, everyone. but it also excites me. everything from the boogieman to the easter bunny could sit right beside you. could be breathing the same air as you, as you just sit and wonder when the light will return. but i could be wrong. their could be nothing near you, or behind you. nothing ever. but we expect to stretch out our hand and feel what we know. our nightstands, our lamps, our pillows and sheets. items familiar to our human touch. but what happens when we feel something abnormal. something unusual. how do we normally respond? with fear; complete and utter fear of what were touching. but i’ve finally realized that you should not be afraid of whats around you. in daylight the world is visible, easy to recognize and comprehend. but when light is taken we are left with darkness. with only opaque images to follow to unknown destinations. we must trust ourselves and lead our way through the darkest of nights. because with a blind eye everything is more about the feeling than the seeing.

   
   everything is going great.
   so today i hugged someone and i closed my eyes and took a deep breath. the cold autumn air filled my lungs and i had a feeling of being infinite. everything was going the way it should, just like they had said. everything was infinite. everything has gone just great.

   
   why cannot a person sleep?
   all their is left to do is be tired. exhausted, limp, with eyes half closed. my brain can barely function on 3 hours of sleep i find myself sinking in sand so deep where breathing becomes harder and my head keeps sinking my body is tired and i haven’t had a good nights sleep. serenading music plays quietly in the background as my head dreams dreams so insane, they cannot be explained. i panic under the pressure of knowing i need to rise rise sooner than the day before, and i panic. because i have not slept in many days. why cannot a person sleep? because they sink in sand so deep.